The B word: Balance

I'm certainly no expert when it comes to parenting (who is?), but I think it might well be able about balance. Well that's how I'm trying to see it anyway. 

I think parenting and guilt seem to come hand in hand. A lot of us beat ourselves up about the things that we haven't done that day, but we rarely focus on what we have actually achieved. And whilst putting a wash on might not seem like much of an achievement - it sort of is when you have little people to take care of all day. It's one more thing that can be ticked off of 'the list'. It's one more thing no longer hanging over us. 

I think a lot of us probably tend to focus on the 'what haven't we done today' rather than the 'what have we'. I know I do, I've even thought about writing down a list of things I've achieved or done in the day before, as I'm too quick to be hard on myself up and tell myself that I haven't achieved anything during my day looking after my boys.

And even if you take the washing away and anything else that might have been ticked off, the fact that we've successfully looked after our little people all day, that they are kept fed, clean and are tucked up in bed safely at night is achieving something in itself. Because every parent knows that being a parent isn't a walk in the park. Your little ones, specifically when they are very little, rely on you as their parent totally. And whilst we may not always get a chance to achieve everything we set out in our day to do, every day we do do an amazing job of taking care of our children, slowly raising them up into big people. 

Not every day goes to plan - more so when you have more than one little person to take care of. You can't generally be in two places at once, so it's hard to make everybody happy all of the time. We do our best though, but I think whilst we know we do try our best, we still let the guilt take little nibbles (or sometimes chunks) out of us. 

But I'm starting to learn that it's all about balance really and that whilst we can't be 10 different people in 10 different places at one particular time, we can dedicate time to ensuring that there is at least some balance. That if instead of hoping to achieve far more than is capable as a parent in one day, we aim to balance it over the course of say a week, like fellow blogger Lucy recently recommend to me. That way, things can then start to feel a little bit more manageable and suddenly there's a whole lot less pressure. 

I read this article by workingmother.com today where she explored the results of a survey by My Voucher Codes which in short said that 32% of parents said they feel their children have too much of a reliance on technology. Her article looked at both sides, before she summarised it with her own final thoughts saying that perhaps it's just about ensuring that our kids are using technology in the right way via the use of educational apps and such. And whilst I couldn't agree with more, I also think it's again, about balance. 

Because balance isn't just something us adults need in our lives, it's something the kids need too. For example, if your child wants to use tech - great - we're in a digital age, the Internet is part of our everyday lives, it creates so much opportunity and Internet's resources allowing us to learn new things everyday if we want to. Of course we still want our children to go out and play, to socialise and make friends and not to be constantly glued to a screen. But at the end of the day isn't it about balance, just as everything else in life is?

For me, especially as a Mum of two little children, I find that life and everyday things within it seem so much more easier when I stop getting caught up with individual things and instead try to remember to create and keep a healthy balance between everything that needs my attention as a whole.

Alex x

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  1. I find balance SO hard. And as you say, it can be so easy to focus on what you haven't achieved in a day rather all the tiny little things that you have done which have resulted in happy, healthy children. I think as bloggers we can often make it harder for ourselves, because those lines between work and home life are so blurry and it's hard to feel on top of anything (I know for me it is anyway). I think a happy life is all about finding a balancing act that works for you, and trying to let go of the guilt about the stuff that has to fall away. Although thats always easier said than done. x

    1. I couldn't agree more Lucy. It is also harder to find the balance when you're working from home - I sometimes struggle with this. Luckily Adam's around also working from home, so we tend to share the day - spending half of it working and half of it with the kids each, then the evenings together. x

  2. Such a lovely post and it really is so true. You can get to the end of the day and sit there and think what have I actually done today.. however when you actually sit down and think about and think how little one's developing their skills.. yeah :) xx

  3. I love this and felt this so much when I just had MM and had two little ones under two years old. I can so relate to the strive to have balance. Somedays I get it right and somedays I still feel so overwhelmed because I want to do more, and push myself more to achieve more but also have to remember burning out won't get me anywhere either. Lovely way to put it darling in terms of techonology too. I am all about them knowing how to use it as long as it's educational. No shoot kill games in my house but if they want to play mickey's race for phonics or shapes well they are learning while playing. It's that the best way to learn something new? lol I like Lucy's concept of doing it over a week not a day! I need more of that thinking in my life.