Where do I start? How do I word this?
I almost feel like this isn't mine to write about and that this perhaps isn't the place, but there's a feeling in my chest and there are words just jumbled about in my head. I can't quite be sure if it's a feeling of sadness or of anger or of confusion, or of a mixture of all three.
My head hurts and my heart feels heavy and sad. I've spent so long today scrolling through social media, reading about the atrocities that have occurred in Manchester. Seeing picture after picture of scared and frightened people in a place where there should only have been happiness and excitement and a feeling of safety. I've seen photographs of smiling children who have since had their lives, which they'd hardly begun, stolen and ripped away from them and I can't now get their faces out of my mind.
I've tried to go about my day as normal today, all whilst hugging my family a little tighter, but I keep on being brought back to this feeling of sadness. I've just come up my room to get in to bed for the night and before I did I went and checked my boys before I came up here - I smiled looking down at their sleeping faces. I made sure that they were tucked in and that they weren't too hot or too cold. I felt sad for the parents who weren't able to do that tonight and with tears in my eyes, I almost whispered "I'm sorry" to my eldest little boy. I'm sad that though his Dad and I do our best each day to teach both of our children how to be good human beings and about how important it is to be kind, there are 'people' in this world who incite hate and terror and I can't explain why. And when he's old enough to ask me about it, I wont know where to begin to even start to explain such evil.