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New Mum Worries + How I've Kept My Bond With My Husband After 2 Children


For me, becoming a parent for the first time and even the second time, was such an exciting but nerve-racking time. As a pregnant first time Mum to be I knew that people had said life would change, but I wondered and sometimes even worried about just how much it would change.

I was so excited for the new chapter in our lives and to start a family with the person I'd met and fallen in love with at school, but there was also a slight worry in the back of my mind about how much having a baby, a third person in our relationship, would affect the close relationship Adam and I had always had. 

Having been together since we were 14, Adam and I have always been best friends and we'd pretty much always done everything possible that we could together. I knew that having a baby together meant that we would be forced to do more things separately to fit around looking after our child. Not having as much one-on-one time with my Husband was something I'd thought about a lot. I remember one time being on a walk together and we were going over how we could make it work financially to allow us to still have a day off together after our baby was born. We were determined to keep our close connection. 


Five and a half years later and the reality is is that we’re actually closer than ever - the bond we share as parents has brought us together even more. We adore our children and the family that we have created together, becoming parents together has strengthened our bond. 

I mean don't get me wrong, Adam and I squabble like any normal couple, but I think communication and honesty has always been key. And of course like most parents will already know, parenting can make you squabble a bit more at times as you wing your way through your new responsibilities. It’s not always plain sailing, but we’ve learnt not to take things as personally especially when we're having the more challenging parenting days. Letting go and forgiving small stresses quickly is important. 

We've also found that regular couple-time is just as important, be that when the Grandparents offer to babysit or even when our boys go to bed - making time to just be together doing something we both enjoy has helped us to stay close. I also think it's super important to laugh every day, I'm a Mum of two now and the boys are 5 and nearly 3, but that hasn't stopped me being my silly self - I didn't become super serious just because my responsibilities increased when I became a Mum. 


Post Office recently conducted a survey around the top worries of new parents and the most popular were around freak accidents happening (I know this is something I actually worry about more now that the boys are more independent). As well as worries about new parents not knowing how to 'parent' their baby, worries about them dropping their baby and around childproofing their home correctly. Other new parents worried about what would happen if their partner died or even how they would be able to afford to raise their baby.  


FREE parent cover 

Following the results of their survey, Post Office have been working hard to give new parents some peace of mind and draw their attention to their Free parent cover which gives parents Life Insurance to the value of £15,000 per child for one year absolutely free. 

Many parents are unaware of this product and the fact that it won't cost them anything so Post Office want to raise awareness so that as many parents as possible can take advantage of it. Both parents can use the product each time they have a child up to a limit of 8 children and can take advantage of the offer up until their child’s 4th birthday. So, for example, if you've three children under four and two parents take out a policy, you'll get £45,000 of cover each free for a year. And if two parents have the maximum eight children and each take out a policy, that's £120,000 of cover each! 

It's so natural to have worries as a new parent or soon to be new parent, parenting is without a doubt the toughest 'hood you'll ever walk through, but it's also the most magical and most rewarding. 




Thank you for reading. 
Alex xo 

11 comments

  1. I've always been quite paranoid about the boys having accidents too. This is such a great service from the Post Office thanks for sharing!

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  2. Amazing that you've been with your partner such a long time - I can see why the dynamic of having children would have given you pause for thought. I met my husband just before turning 30 and had our daughter at 36, so with us it definitely changed things, but we hadn't been together nearly as long as you two!

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  3. Aww what a lovely story! Amazing you have been together since you were 14! That is so cute and I love that having had kids has bought you closer together.

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  4. That's good that you and Adam are closer and more bonded than ever despite having to tweak your roles having two kids x

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  5. It's really important to spend as much time together when you can, without the kids. It helps build your relationship better. A lot of couples completely forget about this.

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  6. I think the relationship dynamics are always bound to change when children are involved but you have to actively take time to spend quality time together thats the important piece.

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  7. It took us some time but it's really important that you spend days without the kids together. That's how to keep the fire burning so to speak.

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  8. This is great for new moms or mums about to have a second child. I’m sure this’ll come in handy for them.

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  9. The hubby and I make sure we have regular date nights - as cheesy as it sounds it's so important to have a chance to discuss stuff that doesn't revolve around homework, ballet and footie!

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  10. Aw lovely story and what a great initiative from the Post Office, I'll be looking in to that, thank you.

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  11. It can be so hard to keep your marriage alive when you have kids, but it's so important to keep that bond and husband and wife. Gaz and I had three babies in two years and WOW that was hard, especially given we hadn't been together long! I think it made us stronger though and I know more date nights will be ahead of us!

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