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10 Simple Tips to Help Keep the Magic Alive After You've Had Children

When you've got children, especially children of a particular age (in my own case - toddler age), it's sort of inevitable that you have a little (or a lot) less time than you once did for your other half. The children are the priority and as much as you sometimes plan to spend your evenings having a little 'couple time' to reconnect, sometimes all you'll want to do is veg out in front of the TV, be it on the sofa or in bed and switch your mind off completely whilst you recover from what was an exhausting day of playing Mum (or Dad). 

So what can you do to ensure that you keep the magic well and truly alive in your relationship after having children?.. Here are ten tips that I believe to be the answer.. 

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1. Don't feel guilty for accepting offers from babysitters. Being a parent may be a life long commitment but it certainly doesn't mean that you can't have the occasional night off. Taking a night off from being Mum or Dad whilst the grandparents or someone else takes care of the children is healthy for not only you and your partner, but for your children too. It means that your children will get to spend some time in a new environment with other people and gives both them and you a break from the everyday routine, which sometimes is well-needed. 

2. Recognise the things that your partner does for you and the family and show him or her how much you really do appreciate it. We don't stop as parents.. there's always something to do and life can get pretty hectic. So ensuring that you make a little time in the day to stop and think about how much your partner does for you and then thanking them for it will go a long way. Getting random gifts for each other (like those new pair of mens trainers he's wanted for a while, or that make-up palette she's been lusting over for what seems forever) for absolutely no reason other than to say 'thank you' or 'I love you' is also a great way to show how much you care. We all like to feel like we're appreciated for the things we do. It makes us feel better and increases the chance that we'll carry on doing whatever it is we're doing. 

3. Switch off the electronics every now and again. In this day and age, it's far too easy to sit in front of the television and/or bury yourself in your smart phone or tablet and 'switch off'. And us parents, after a tiring day, can be pretty guilty of this. Every now and again try switching off the gadgets and doing something with your partner like playing a board game or a game of cards together. 

4. Talk, talk and more talk - say what's on your mind. Being open and honest with each other is what I think is, the key to a great long lasting relationship. It's much better to be honest with each other than to hide or avoid things and lets them fizzle up inside of you. Always, always, always make and find time to talk things through. I treat Adam like he's my best friend and also like he's quite literally my other half - I tell him everything and he does the same and it's always worked so well for us. 

5. Remember why you fell in love. Reminiscing on days that have gone by and chatting with your partner about old memories that you both hold dear offers a great way for you both to bond with each other and reconnect. If you've kept a keepsake box from when you first met, why not dust it off, open it up and have a look through it together. Or even if you don't have a keepsake box, you could sit and have a look through old photographs and listen to songs that remind you of when you first met each other. 

6. Plan a romantic get away. Why not spend an evening making plans to visit somewhere that you and your partner have both wanted to visit for a while now? Or you could makes plans to revisit somewhere that means a lot to you both. For example.. where you got married, or where you went on your honeymoon. Find out when you'd potentially have babysitters available and then have lots of fun making plans together! If you're not in a financial position where you can currently afford to take a romantic giveaway, try entering this competition where you could win a luxury weekend break for 2! (Closes 30th April 2015 2359 GMT)

7. Give your partner the morning/night 'off'. Offering to take the children whilst your partner enjoys a little 'me time' to do something for them, will really help them to recharge especially if they've been feeling a little run down or overwhelmed. They'll really appreciate the gesture and you'll probably find that they'll be more than happy to return the favour. 

8. Don't forget the affection. Remember to make time to cuddle and kiss each other and to hold hands when you can. You could even write and leave each other little notes and do things like randomly call each other on your lunch breaks just 'because'. 

9. Be a good listener. As much as you should spend time talking to one another, you should also remember to really listen to what each other has to say. Listening to your partner and showing that you care about their day and their feelings on things will make them feel good and genuinely appreciated.

10. Don't take things too personally. If your partner's having a stressful day and ends up being a little snappy, don't be too quick to take it personally. The best approach is probably to talk about what happened as soon as you get the chance to and explain how it made you feel. But by snapping back at the time you're highly unlikely to achieve anything, it could just make things worse. You already know that life as a parent can be difficult at times for you both, so keep this in mind before you take anything that could just potentially be your partners way of showing a little frustration or stress personally.

What sort of things do you and your partner do to keep the romance going?

P.S. Don't forget to enter for your chance to win a luxury weekend break for you and your partner: here! (Competition ends 30th April 2015 2359 GMT)


 


5 comments

  1. Lots of great tips and definitely agree with them. It's hard to find the balance once you have kids and I think it gets easier as the kids get older. We always have a Friday and Saturday night together unless we go out with friends. We watch TV and eat junk. It's great!

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  2. I think a night without TV, phones and computers is so important every now and again. Great post x

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  3. Great tips Alex! We try to do the no technology thing, it definitely helps! xx

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  4. Great post - so easy to forget to make time for each other but it's also so important!

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