Motherhood

Motherhood
Motherhood & Family Life

Family Travel

Family Travel
Days Out & Travel

Home Interiors

Home Interiors
Home Interiors

I'll Fall but When I Rise I'll Be Stronger than Ever

That's a lyric from one of my favourite songs right now. By the amazing talent that is Raleigh Ritchie.

A song that right now, is providing me with fuel and has helped pull the wool back from my eyes.

I'm going to be overly honest here; today has been bloody awful.

My baby fell head first off of a stall in a store that should never have allowed him to be on it. And I never should have and I get that. But I trusted them, I followed their lead. And I made the wrong call. Because you know what.. I'M NOT PERFECT. I sometimes make the wrong judgements. I sometimes trust the wrong people. And the wrong situations.

I try to be the best person, wife and Mum I can be. But I am not superhuman. And those that criticise me need to take a good hard look at themselves and ask themselves are you really that perfect yourself?

Asides from the deep upset about what happened to Ethan today. I then got torn apart by a group of individuals who I cannot describe in any other way then, low life Internet trolls who appear to get a sense of deep satisfaction out of preying on the vulnerable and then tearing them to pieces like a pack of wolves would. The people concerned are part of a popular parenting websites forum. They repeatedly sat behind their computer screens typing vicious nasty words aimed towards me and pressing enter.

At the time their words cut through me like glass. Being told repeatedly when you're already down, that you are an irresponsible parent, that you shouldn't post your childs image or name on the Internet, that your blog is 'cheesy'. It can hurt. A lot.

And it did.

I was vulnerable at the time because I was already upset. And because of this I panicked, I let them win. I took my blog down. I cried, a lot. I withdrew.

And then, after I'd cried myself out. And after receiving so many unexpected message of support from not only the real people, who have become as good as friends, that I write my blog for. But from members of that forum who were disgusted at the abuse I'd received..

I woke up.

I pulled the wool back from my eyes, dusted myself off and saw it for what it really was.. actually rather comical.

I mean how did little old me spark such a reaction? How lovely is it that these ugly-souled trolls cared that much to spend that much time trying to break me. I mean, wow, who knew I was such a talking point?

23 comments

  1. I am so happy to see your blog back up!! I tried so many times to get into it, and thought I was blocked or something!! Alex you are an amazing mum, I do t know what was said, but Christ no one in this life is perfect! We are humans! I think as a blogger you can "put yourself out there to be hung to dry" I know I felt like this yesterday after a post I published. Bloggin is all about diversity of opinion, not sit and tear shreds off a person because you don't agree with what they have done! Chin up, smile and keep blogging! Remember you are doing an amazing job if it all, wife,mum,working & blogging xxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  2. WHAT?!?! What on earth happened!! How awful!!!! Take it as a compliment, your blog is big enough to attract "haters" ;) In all seriousness, I think I would of been devastated if you had taken you blog down completely!! Well done you for addressing this, I hope they realise their opinions are worthless! You have an amazing blog, you're the best mum to Ethan and you're such a genuine person. DON'T let them get you down xxx

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm so sorry this happened Alex, I hadn't noticed until I tried to go back to your post and I couldn't find it. You are such an amazing mum, don't let anyone tell you any different. Yes we all make mistakes, no body is perfect but you were not irresponsible whatsoever!! And for the comments on your blog being cheesy? Pffft never heard such a silly thing! Keep doing what you're doing and don't worry about the trolls. xxx

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm so glad that your blog is back up Alex! I love your little blog. It's not cheesy in the slightest. I've read it since you were pregnant and I've loved watching not only Ethan grow but also your blog and your photography skills which you should be really proud of. Your blog has quickly become one of my favourites. These people ready need to get a grip of themselves! I hope Ethan is ok lovely, you're a wonderful mother and wife. And don't you forget it xxx

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh my goodness, I've no idea what happend and have only just learnt of E's fall reading this. I hope you're both ok. Yes the internet can be truly wicked, but you are strong. You went to britmums and mingled with 700 other strangers and came out smiling. Your blog is beautiful and one of my favourites. I'm so pleased you've come out fighting. *gentle hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  6. This makes me so angry. I can't believe there are people out there who are that bored they have to attack people online - especially mums! Rising above it is the best thing you can do and I'm sure this post will make them eat their words, pathetic, spineless people.

    Lots of love to Ethan, it wasn't your fault at all, we trust people, thats never a quality to regret. xx

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm so glad you had the strength to brush them away they obviously have serous unresolved issues with the world which they will never solve. However you my dear are one of the best damm bloggers on this here Internet :-D

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm so glad you put your blog back up - it's wonderful and you are doing a grand job at blogging and being a lovely mummy to Ethan. I would have made the same mistake with the photo thing! I experienced a similar thing on my blog a few months ago & blogged about it after... I think if you read my post you would sympathise a lot, and it might make you feel better! Big hugs xx http://www.mrsbishopsbakesandbanter.co.uk/2014/02/a-modern-parenting-problem.html?m=1

    ReplyDelete
  9. An apologetic member of the site you went on3 July 2014 at 23:26

    Hi Alex

    I've come cap in hand to apologise to you. I was on the thread on that forum today and commented harshly without thinking things through or even considering your feelings. I told you that it was your fault for trusting the staff and putting your little boy on the stool. It's what I thought at the time but I want to say sorry for that because you're completely right. We all make judgements with our children and trust other people and sometimes they aren't the right decisions or the right people to trust and our children get hurt.Then we have the guilt too. I am sorry that I contributed to you feeling so upset at the time or added to the guilt you were feeling and I feel ashamed that my words could have been some of the ones that made you cry. All you did was trust that they were doing their job properly and then you had to put up with a barrage of nastiness, my comment included.

    I think the culture on that site in that section of the forum has become harsher and more cruel. My behaviour today has made me realise that I'm an active part of that and it's not good. I know that you've moved on from being upset by it now so this apology is probably pretty meaningless but I still wanted to say sorry to you. I'm sorry. Today has really opened my eyes so I also want to say thank you for making me realise about all this too. I don't want to be that person whose comments are cruel and unnecessary. I'm glad your blog is back up and I'm really sorry that my comment could have contributed to you doubting about having it here anymore.

    An apologetic member of that site

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, I really respect you for your apology. It takes a lot to see how you've hurt people and then admit to it sometimes.

      I am a real person and your words and the cruel words of other people on that forum really did hurt. They knocked my confidence, they ruined the rest of the day that I had with my Son before he went to his Grandmas for the night. They ruined my Husbands day as he spent the whole of his time after work trying to make me see sense and cheer me up. People who sit and write nasty comments about people on the Internet forget that their are real people on the receiving end of it. They forget that their words have the power to put people in dark places.

      I'm not trying to make you feel worse. I really do respect you for apologising. I just want people to know that things like this when you get told you're a bad parent and criticised by others really can and do hurt.

      Delete
  10. Wow! First of all well done to the person above. Takes courage to apologise in person.
    I think it goes to show that these forums and the people behind the comments don't really know what they are saying. They don't realise that they are attacking an actual real life person.
    I am glad you have put your blog back up. And this is a lesson for everyone, blog how you want to blog and forget nasty comments as they aren't meant for you personally. And don't listen to anyone who tells you you are a bad parent! Every one of us does the best they can and we ALL make mistakes! Hugs x

    ReplyDelete
  11. So glad you put your blog back up Alex. And kudos to the person who came forward and apologized. It's a shame no one else bothered but hey, you're over that now :D You and Ethan will be fine. And of course, your names might not even be Alex and Ethan ... how do we know eh?!

    Thinking of you loads.

    Lou xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  12. Sorry to hear that on top of how upset you already were, people that obviously don't have anything better to do, intended to make you feel worse.
    How you were treated both by the staff in snappy snaps and the trolls is disgusting. Your blog is fab, don't let anyone let you think otherwise :) x

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh hun, how awful. Its quite scary I think how easy people find it to make judgements when they're sat behind a computer screen. Things that they would never dare say to your face.
    Bless you, I'm not surprised you were upset. But I'm glad they haven't let them beat you. I had someone say the most awful things about me and my blog a couple of years back and it really hurt me, but like you I didn't let them win, I got my s**t together, I decided an eloquent and kind reply was my best bet and I moved past it. So glad Bump to Baby blog is still here!!! x

    ReplyDelete
  14. I didn't bring you up to let morons upset you. You're stronger than that!
    If I had a pound for every mistake I'd made as a parent I'd be driving my dream Mercedes by now!
    We fall down, (somewhat literally in poor E's case bless him.) We get up, learn, then move on. Giving the faceless, gutless keyboard warrior trolls a second of your time or emotion is NOT an option.
    I take my hat off to the person that apologised, that was the decent thing to do. The rest of them are jealous morons who would like just a tiny portion of the life you have worked your backside off for!
    You are a wonderful mother to my grandson.
    So fingers on keys lady!
    I'm proud to call you my daughter.
    Xxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  15. Sorry to read about your experience Alex, it must have been really upsetting to find yourself being discussed on one of these forums. One of my favourite bloggers was recently caught up in a big online drama and it ended up sparking a lot of debate about mummy bloggers. I read a lot of the feedback she received and it actually opened my eyes to some important issues that I hadn't given enough thought to (and clearly neither had she). It was sort of a welcome reality check.

    So I guess, if any of these women had any constructive criticism to share then at least there might be something useful to take away from it - but there's not much you can work with if they're just out and out negative. Hope you manage to find your groove again and move froward! Looks like you have xx

    ReplyDelete
  16. Yay go Alex's mum, she is totally right and you know what I think anyway as ive told you. Sadly society breeds morons who have nothing better to do with their time than comment and make judgments on other people, usually horrid comments which they write in haste, think is funny and probably have a giggle with their mates over. In reality peoples feelings get hurt and in some cases there have been some tragic incidents.

    Life isn't perfect, no one is perfect and we all make mistakes. Hindsight is a wonderful learning tool and that is what life is, one big learning tool, so chin up, smile and don't let them get you down, those 'people' are nothing but sad trolls who need to get themselves a life.

    xx

    ReplyDelete
  17. Welcome back Alex! I was really sad and confused when your blog disappeared last night (I didn't know about what was going on at the time). I'm sorry you had to go through that anguish. Sadly it seems to be an inevitable part of social media. People can be so unnecessarily cruel and judgemental. The internet can be a hurtful and scary place. I know you would have been missed if you'd packed the blog in, so well done for having the courage to come back. Remember, you have a strong support network here and that by far outweighs the few individuals who are thoughtlessly unkind. Hope you and your family have a much happier weekend after your bad experience

    ReplyDelete
  18. So sorry you experienced nasty comments. RE photo safety, I had a very similar thing happen at the baby show earlier this year. The photographer and assistant took 9 month old Rory, sat him on a high table, and then both moved away. Perhaps I shouldn't have assumed that the assistant would stand by him and 'spot' him, perhaps I should have checked first, but I firmly believe that it is the companies responsibility. The parent is walking into an unknown situation, the staff can't assume the parents are experts on the photo set-up. They NEED to instruct parents on safety and let them know what is required of them whilst the photos are being taken. If there is no staff member to stand by the child, the staff NEED to make sure the parents are aware that they need to do that job.

    I used to be a photographer for one of those companies that have the mobile studios in Mothercare, boots, etc and the company was really on it with safety. One of the biggest parts of my job was making sure parents knew that their job was to stand by the set with their hand right there behind their child (but out of sight). For babies and wriggly young toddlers we would even have the parents hold onto their child with their arms covered under a blanket. This was 100% the companies fault and not yours, and they need to think very carefully about how to train their staff to take photos of young children.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Another lyric from a more urban song, 'Don't let the bastards get you down,' as Rihanna once sung! Hurtful words do linger, but I'm glad you have bounced back. You keep doing your thing, if it makes you and your family happy, that's all that matters! xx

    ReplyDelete
  20. I was wondering where your site went, but I didn't want to e-mail you and be nosy! I'm so sorry people were so hurtful to you. People are so quick to judge and so harsh when they're behind the safety of a keyboard!

    P.S. Your site is anything but "cheesy". Even as a non-parent I enjoy reading it!

    ReplyDelete
  21. So sorry to read about your bad experience with S***** ****s. My LO had her passport photo taken there and they put her on a beanbag - god knows what made them think using a stool was ok. I hope that now you've had time to calm down, that you write a letter of complaint to head office as they need to learn from their mistakes. I hope Ethan is ok.

    Don't give up your blog, I haven't seen any negativity about it and have no idea what forum you're talking about but pls ignore. Ethan is about the same age as my little girl and I suspect you live not too far from me so I relate, although I wish I was as young and pretty as you haha! ;-)

    Joy

    ReplyDelete

Powered by Blogger.