I'm looking at my boys and they're looking back at me and I can't quite really believe that they're mine; that I created them. Two tiny little humans, that together with their Daddy, I made.

It's hard to understand the feelings of pride and love and every other overhwhleming emotion you feel towards your children when you're a parent, until you actually become a parent yourself. 

I was never a maternal person until a year or so before I had Ethan, I didn't really understand the love and joy that having little people would bring to my life. I never knew how content it would make me feel. How much more alive I would feel. How a hole would be filled that I didn't even realise was there. 

All parents love their children, they love them dearly. But there's much more than love there - there's so many other feelings that come when you're somebody's Mummy or Daddy, with pride being one of the biggest and the best.

When your child draws a scribble on a page but tells you it's a picture of you.. when they wear a helmet and use a bike... when they learn a new word.. when they smile and laugh.. when they tell you that they love you.. when they go off and make friends at the park with you watching on.. when they tell you things you didn't know that they knew.. when they learn to count.. when they say their pleases and their thank you's.. even when they use the potty.. (who knew a poo in a potty could feel you with so much pride?!). 

It's a hard feeling to imagine until you've been there, but overhwhelmingly proud is how you feel. 

I say that time flies a lot and it does it really really does. But I do know where the days and the weeks and the months and the years are going - they're not lost, they haven't run away with themselves, they're well spent, every single one of them. I've spent the last one thousand, one hundred and seventy nine days, the amount of days I've been a Mummy (thanks Age calculator), raising my children as best as I can. Putting them first even when I've felt like I've had nothing left to give, being persistent even when things have felt tough and teaching them the things that I know. And whilst they're still so so tiny, they're becoming little individuals, they're finding themselves and learning about the world around them. 

I'm looking at my boys and they're looking back at me and I see all of this and I'm proud. I'm proud of them and I'm also proud of me. 

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