The Good & The Bad Days

Yesterday should have perhaps felt somewhat easier, Ethan had been out all day with his grandparents at an airshow. Adam was at work, so it was just Logan and I. 

Logan's been going through a clingy stage recently, he's been a bit poorly so clearly that hasn't helped. But I think it's been a bit of a combination between being a little poorly and also hitting a bit of a clingy stage in general. 

The nights have been harder recently too. A usually sleep-loving Logan, hasn't wanted to sleep alone in his own room. We've struggled to get him to go down and even when we have he's been coming in with us a while later, waking up screaming until he finds himself in our bed. 

Yesterday was one of 'those' days. The sort that as a parent you wish you could just go to bed, reset and totally forget about. It was a day of me not being able to walk out of the room without there being tears and screams, a day of food and toys being chucked by my little mister in frustration and a day of very little Mummy-down time, even when it came to toilet trips.

It was also  day of feeling rather drained and also feeling like I had no one to talk to, which is why I suppose I'm sitting here writing this.

After a tough old morning, I decided by the afternoon that we both needed some fresh air - I felt like I was climbing the walls a bit and a change of scenery would do us both good. We go to the park a lot as it's so close and so is a good way of getting a bit of fresh air and clearing our heads. Going so often can become a little boring, I want to visit other places when I'm on my own, but I sometimes find it such a challenge to just pop out with a baby and work it around his lunch/dinner routine. It's not as easy as popping out with a 3 year old that's for sure. 

I tried my best to not let how I was feeling show as I entered the park and saw a group of women sat at one of the benches. I'd hoped the park would be empty like it usually is and that I would just be able to get our blanket out, sit on the grass and just breathe in some fresh air. 

It's strange when I think about it now, now that I'm in a totally different, far more relaxed mood and Logan is too. But I felt a bit silly in front of the women, I was already feeling a little lonely and seeing them sitting there together watching their kids play whilst they laughed with each other, made me feel a little bit worse. At that moment, I wished I was at the park with a friend, laughing about the sometimes hard days of Mummyhood.

I did my best to make the most of our time at the park and push the 'I want to hide under my duvet today' thoughts out of my head. But I felt a bit like a flop and I felt like everytime one of the other Mums glanced over at me that they could somehow see how I was feeling, though I know that's of course not true. We ended up heading home after a short while just as the grey weather turned to rain and it was then that I decided to just accept that it was indeed one of 'those' days, the sort that slot in between the different sort of days you have when you're a parent. 

I decided against the veggies we usually have on a Sunday and I ended up making a quick dinner for Logan, who decided he didn't want to eat anyway. And then I text Adam telling him that we were having Dominos Pizza for dinner. When he walked through the door, he found me frazzled-looking holding a crying Logan. He took him from me and very kindly let me enjoy eating my large pizza whilst watching an episode of Pretty Little Liars - something I tend to put on when I need a little escape time. I was going to catch up on some blogging that evening, but instead I decided that after a tough day, I'd cut myself some slack and just get an early night. 

As a parent you never know what sort of day you're going to have. It could be the most magical day or the most ordinary or one that pushes you to the edge, everyday is different. I think when you're a parent you know that some days are better than others. Things don't get easier just because you've done it all before with another child. I think for me, I've just learnt to accept the tougher days more. I think I've learnt when it's time to pull out the chocolate, or the wine (or the pizza) and when to cancel any plans for the day and just accept that tomorrow will be a better day. 

And you know what.. I woke up today with a 'new day' head on. Logan and I played and laughed together and both felt so much more happier and relaxed. It's amazing what a bit of sleep and a new day can do!

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  1. Ah those days suck and I totally relate to how you felt when you saw the mums in the parl. A similar thing happened to me last week after I wrote my post about being lonely - I went to the cinema with Jon and in the queue in front of us was a group of about 10 female friends, all laughing and having a great evening out together - it made me feel even more lonely somehow, because I just wished I had that kind of circle of friends to have a girly evening out with every now and then.

    It sounds like you did the best thing and it's worked a treat - Dominos pizza is basically magical! ;) x

  2. Hi, I can completely relate to this, hence why i also started my own blog recently, it helps to get these feelings out there. It's nice to know you're not alone, thank you for writing this, i feel like i've had quite a few of these kind of days lately and was beginning to think i was the only one xx

  3. We've all been their, Alex. My 2 little girls sometimes have the clingies together and it is very tiring. Then when my husband gets home he gets both barrels....totally unfair but some hormonal rage takes over. They totally love going to the park...which helps get them back to being happy and content....sleep is a help.


  4. Those days are hard and you just want to fast forward to the end! It definitely isn't easier the second time round, it's just different because they are different. I can totally relate to the park, I have no problem going on my own with my girls, but then you turn up and see groups and I think it's them that make us feel uncomfortable X

  5. YES! Had these days a lot over the years. Was so tired and fed up some days but just needed to get out. I must say that they are much rarer nowadays (my twins are almost 4) but they still test me! Think we all feel the same xx

  6. I always find that when I am having a bad day then a bit of fresh air and a picnic always works wonders. I find that little lady can run around and where herself out and being outside helps to clear my head a bit. My little lady hasn't been sleeping well at all recently and I think i've ended up sleeping with her for the past 4 nights. I'm totally exhausted and got to go to work tonight (I'm self employed), so tomorrow I am planning to take her somewhere nice like the woods as I won't be in a fit state to do much else!

  7. We all get them, and it's just important that we get up and pull through them. As parents we sometimes forget we are human, and that like anyone else we need our downtime.