There are time (mostly in the shower when I had more time to think) that I remind myself "Alex, you are a Mum of two children" and I find it almost a little bit overwhelming. Not necessarily in a bad way, just in a 'Woah!' way. Woah because sometimes I can't believe that little old me is responsible for raising two tiny human beings - raising babies in to men.
There are days when I can be so hard on myself - worrying if I did things 'right'. Questioning myself and fighting off Mum guilt, despite trying to be the very best Mum I can be daily. But then I look at my boys and I see how happy they are, how healthy they are and how well they're both doing and I think to myself, "We've done that!" (My Husband and I). I do what I can for them with my one pair of hands and taking a step back and actually looking at them, I realise I'm doing a good job! I think us parents, we need to remind ourselves of that quite a bit more instead of being quick to criticise and worry.
Ethan is three in April and Logan has just turned seven months and I feel like they're growing fast. I do what I can to hold on to all the moments, I don't want to forget anything. But I'm excited for the now and for the future. I love watching their brother-bond strengthen. I remember bringing Logan home on that very first day and Ethan so tenderly welcoming his new little brother by softly stroking his hair and gently planting a kiss on his face.
Logan has been sitting up a lot more recently and it's just wonderful to see my boys showing more interest in one another. It amazes me how fast they grow. My little babies, who'll soon BOTH be little boys. Oh for the amazing mischievous adventures that I'm sure are to come with being a parent to two little boys so close in age.
It's such a honour to be their Mum, even on the more challenging days. It's easy to get caught up on the hundreds of nappy changes and the different mealtimes but it's so nice to have a chance to have a chance to stop and reflect and simply watch them grow.