All too much

On Wednesday evening I winded up in A&E after having somewhat of a very stressful day. So many things had happened to make it as stressful as it was, and trust me - it was a stressful ol'day indeed..

I'd been having heart palpitations since Sunday, which I'd sort of been ignoring. Then on Wednesday those palpitations turned into a horrible chest pain that when ever I spoke or coughed I'd get breathless and a bruised sort of pain in my chest.

As the time the pain just stressed me out further, as I worried that perhaps I'd done something serious to myself by getting myself into such a state. I phoned to talk to a medical professional who advised me to go straight to A&E just to be checked. And feeling rather embarrassed but worried and stressed by the pain all the same, off I went.

As I predicted (and thankfully) my heart is fine. The Doctor advised me that she believes my pain and palpitations are due to anxiety (of which I often struggle with) and stress (of which has definitely been around a lot lately).
And this is sort of what I expected. I'm less stressed to know that medically all is well. But annoyed that I've left myself get into such a stressed state that my body, specifically my heart is suffering.

Obviously, the best cure for stress is to relax.. But if you're a parent and you're reading this then you'll know that that just isn't always possible.

I have 2 jobs (3 if you count being a Mum and 4 if you count how much I help my Husband out with his other job), a toddler, a Husband, a house (including housework), 4 cats (that let me tell you.. are being absolute buggers lately! - yes, it's true cats can be oh so very hard work when they want to be!) and lots of other things going on. But that is just life. Family life is like that. It's only going to get busier, not quieter, not more relaxed. I even want another child, so when he or she decides to come along it's definitely not getting any more relaxed!

So I've been having a think.. how can I stop myself and my body getting beyond stressed out to the point where I am sitting for four hours by myself in a hospital, bored out of my brain, waiting to be told that I somehow need to relax..

And the answer is quite simply.. by brushing myself down, taking a deep breath and re-adjusting my mind set. I mean, if the cat wants to smash an ornament, that's fine - shouting about it isn't going to get it fixed. If the cat wants to poo behind the TV cabinet where I can't reach, all over the wires so that the electricity goes out for a a few hours - that's fine - I can't turn back time and somehow predict where she's going to poop. I can only try and teach her not to do it behind the bloody TV or in the house at all (in a perhaps calmer manner). If Ethan throws his lunch on the floor, that's fine - it's his loss and nobody can say I didn't provide him a meal..  The list really does go on...

But basically, I need to learn to let it go, quicker. I need to stop letting things that I can't now change bother me so much. I need to calm down.

And I will.

Because if I don't, I will drive myself and my Husband mad. I won't be the Mum to Ethan that I want to be. Or the wife I want to be. Or the type of person as a whole that I want to be either.

Family life is stressful, yes. But I've learnt that what really matters is the way in which you approach that mostly unavoidable stress!

And to cheer me up even further here's a very blurry picture I took a while back of Ethan and I. This is one of the many many out take photos that I took whilst trying to get my blog bio picture. It just goes to show that the 'perfect' picture takes several slightly nutty attempts.. ;)

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  1. Sorry to hear about your trip to A&E, but glad all was okay in the end. My husband suffers from anxiety and a congenital heart condition, so I have an idea what you're going through as he's been to A&E on more than one occasion. It sounds like you have a good plan to tackling your stress. Hope you feel better soon

  2. Glad to hear that it was nothing serious. Life can get on top of us in so many ways to cause stress and anxiety but sounds like you have a good plan to combat them :) xx

  3. Glad you are ok now and i think i need to take a leaf out of your book to calm the stress and calm down. I've had one of those weeks (and it's not the first) where i have just felt everything getting on top of me and feeling like a bad mummy to my 5 month old son. So i need to learn to let it go too as it will only get worse when i return to my main job! Hope you feel better soon though and get the chance to relax a little :) xx

  4. Oh Alex, I'm sorry that you've found yourself feeling this way. Life is stressful sometimes and finding the way to deal with it is not always easy. It sounds like you have a good plan though and I really hope it helps.

    Jenna at Tinyfootsteps xx

  5. I know how you feel suffering from the anxiety and stress, I have been suffering the same the past month or so to the point where my chest felt so heavy it was scary, constantly feeling flustered and panicky because of the things that were happening in my life. I let things get on top of me too much and need to learn to relax more.

    Its nice to know I'm not alone, I'm glad your feeling better and that you have found a plan of how to deal with it.

    Love the photo!!

    Emily www.londonmummyoftwo.com


  6. I had heart palpertations for almost a year before I discovered it was anxiety. I was such an idiot for waiting that long. I found that just knowing what it was that was causing them helped massively. When ever I feel them coming I immediately go into my relax mode, which involves deep breaths, taking a step back and even running a bath and just take 20 mins out. Like you say letting go is definitely a must - but so hard to do!

    Kay xxx


  7. Sorry to hear you are feeling a little overwhelmed Alex, it is so hard juggling things and that must have been very scary indeed. Letting go is definitely a must- I hope you find a way to relax if you can. And remember if you ever need a friendly ear to chat too, I am here! We aren't too far away. xx

  8. Aw sorry to hear of your A&E trip Alex, Anxiety and stress is no laughing matter and it is good you are able to talk about it. As a fellow sufferer I can total relate and even the most silly little things can work me up so much that I make myself ill but after a few days those silly little things become the funny stories I tell to friends & family and eventually even become a funny life memory.

  9. Oh Alex, i'm so sorry to hear you ended up in A&E but relieved that it was nothing too serious. I suffer with anxiety myself so can totally sympathise with how you're feeling, sometimes it's hard to find the right balance between it all and stay on top. Letting go is always hard, but i really hope you find a way to relax and improve your overall state of mind. I'm here if you ever need someone to talk too.

    Vikki xxx