Yep, I've never been Happier.

It's funny how much my life has changed.. How I would say that I would never wanted children, how I would be so adamant about it when I said it. I look back now at myself now and want to shake myself and shout, 'You silly girl - you have no idea how happy having a child will make you!'.

Because, that is just it, I am so happy! I'm so happy that it's not possible to express it here on my blog, nor in a card or a letter, nor to anyone else, even to the loves of my life - Adam and Ethan. It's just something that cannot be expressed.

And I'm not going to pretend that it isn't hard, because it is. I'm not going to pretend that some most days I want to have a little cry because I can't even find time to get dressed or have some lunch. Some days I even feel that me; Alex, just doesn't matter anymore. But than I remember how much I do - I matter to Ethan, I matter to him the most in the world. I also matter to my Husband. So, who cares if I can't blog when I want to blog, or eat my dinner when it's hot.. That doesn't mean that I don't matter, no, that just means that I matter a lot. 

I like to look at my baby and my Husband (and my cats) and just watch them. I watch them because my heart feels so full - this is my family. I got the guy I wanted, I became his wife. I had his child... our child (and what a little cutie he is!). Throughout my pregnancy I thought I knew how life would be.. I thought I could imagine what Ethan would look like and what kind of things he would do, I thought I knew all of the things that we what we would do as a family, I spent hours daydreaming with excitement..

And all of those things that I thought.. 

Well... they came true.. it's just that in reality it is so much better!

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